Teju was a pretty 23 year-old lady in a University. She was a student in the department of Economics and had a lecturer that took the finance course. His name was Mr. Samuel.
Mr. Samuel was a married man with children. From the first day of the lecture, he took note of Teju as a very beautiful, smart and promising student. Consequently, he innocently talked to her, directed questions to her and teased her – in class! Teju’s classmates noticed this attention from him and often teased her by calling her ‘Samuel’s wife’. This was something that was far from Teju’s mind and at first, it annoyed her when her friends started it but she couldn’t do much to stop them. Later on, when they called her his wife, she laughed along with them, shrugging it off. Afterall, she was sure she could handle the friendship with the man, it was just a harmless friendship.
As time went by, the attention seemed to increase and Mr. Samuel would send for her to assist him in marking scripts for other classes. To show appreciation, lighten the atmosphere and make her comfortable with him, Mr. Samuel would buy her food or promise to take her out for dinner. He often cracked jokes or told stories while she worked and Teju would laugh at his jokes. She would tell her friends the jokes and how funny and nice Mr. Samuel was.
Teju and Mr. Samuel discussed and talked about not just the weather and Economics but also personal and intimate issues which she found very interesting and drew her to him. They also confided in each other. She now regarded him as her ‘friend’ and a very nice man, and not just her lecturer. She dressed to please him. Soon, she began to wonder why all the good and handsome men were taken, and thought that his wife was very fortunate to have him. She began to daydream about him and several times caught herself thinking of what it would be like to be married to him.
Blinded with her desires and feelings for him, she decided to make her fantasy a certainty. She slept with him. They sneaked around, going to hotels and different places so they could spend more time together. Now attached and addicted to seeing Mr. Samuel, she looked forward to his calls and being with him. As time rolled by, she realised she had fallen in love with a married man! Then, she became pregnant. Though a little anxious, she was happy to be carrying his baby. But what about her parents? How would she break the news to them and what would their reaction be?
She told Mr. Samuel about the pregnancy immediately but was shocked by his words. Reminding her that he was married, he apologised for allowing it to happen and advised her to have an abortion. An abortion? How could he suggest that? When he began to avoid her, she knew it was over and he had moved on. She had to do the same. She tried hard but could not get him out of her mind. Worse still, she didn’t know how to handle the disappointment and pain she felt or what to do with the child growing in her womb.
And in ‘This Time Around’, (one of my novels), Misan scolded herself for getting into an affair with a married man. Why didn’t she know when to quit a bad relationship? Why must she wait to be dumped when it was obvious the relationship was not going anywhere? – She wondered.
The issue
I am dealing with this issue of a relationship with a married man today, not to condemn the single ladies out there who are spending time with or dating married men but to give them hope and help, and to let them know that it is wrong and they could have a better deal as there are many good and available men who could marry them. Many single ladies have found themselves in numerous scenarios like the one above about Teju. Some of them thought they could handle the relationship but soon crossed the boundary, deeply falling in, and ended up getting deeply hurt.
To be continued
(Culled from the book – God’s words to Singles by Taiwo Iredele Odubiyi )
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