How to handle an abusive relationship (Part 3)
(Culled from the book MY FIRST LOVE – Pastor Taiwo Iredele Odubiyi)
Lisa looked up at Tofe. “That is love. What you are experiencing in your relationship is not love. Love will protect you, trust you. It will be patient with you and kind to you. It does not get easily angry. A man who loves you will not hit you because he’s angry. He won’t treat you this way. What Jude is doing to you is called abuse. It’s also called gross disrespect. He definitely does not respect you or your family members. He knows Mofe and knows you’re living with him yet he doesn’t think it’s wrong to slap you. He knows your parents, yet he is treating you this way. No, it’s wrong. This is not God’s plan for your marriage.”
Tofe sighed.
“We have to tell Mofe.” Lisa pointed out again.
“He won’t like it. He will be very angry.” Tofe said again.
“Don’t worry, I’ll handle him. I’ll tell him.” Lisa said. “Let’s find out where he is.”
Taking her phone, she called Mofe. She knew he would be surprised to hear from her but she also knew he would listen to her.
She was correct.
“Is everything okay?” He asked.
“Yes. Where are you?”
“I’m just leaving the office. Any problem?”
“I’m in your house.”
“In my house?”
She laughed and said, “Yes.”
“Are you sure everything is okay?”
“Yes, sure. I decided to come over to say hello to Ama and Tofe, and to discuss an issue with you.”
He seemed to be at a loss for words as he didn’t talk immediately. Eventually he said, “I’ll be there soon.”
“Okay. I’ll wait for you.” She said.
When Mofe arrived, he found Lisa, Tofe and Ama taking yogurt and watching TV. Relief replaced his concern. He felt better.
He greeted Lisa politely, his face expressionless.
“So, what’s going on?” He asked as he unbuttoned his jacket.
“There is an issue I’d like to discuss with you.” Lisa said. “But I can wait until you’ve eaten.”
He glanced at the time. “It’s getting late. It’s almost 8.30pm. Why don’t you tell me about it while I’m eating?”
“No, I’ll wait. I’ll get home safely, don’t worry.”
He removed his jacket, hung it at the back of one of the seats and loosened the first two buttons of his shirt.
After eating, he came to join Lisa in the living room, sitting across from her.
“Er – Tofe, please excuse us. Take Ama with you.” He told his sister and Tofe went inside her bedroom with Ama.
“Can you reduce the volume of the TV please?”
He took the control and reduced it, wondering what this was all about.
“What is it?” He asked, giving her his full attention. His eyes went to her long braids. He liked how they hung over her shoulders.
Taking a deep breath, she said, “It’s nothing serious and … I don’t want you to get angry. I just want us to get a solution to the matter.”
As he stared at her, he guessed it would be about what happened at her place the last time he was there.
“It’s about Tofe and Jude.”
He was surprised. “Tofe and Jude?” He asked with a frown.
“Yes.”
He raised his eyebrows in query. “What about them? Is she pregnant?”
Lisa chuckled. “Pregnant? No.”
“So, what is it?” He asked and waited for her to continue.
“There is a challenge and they need our help.”
His eyes were still fixed on her as she continued, “When Jude is angry, he hits her.”
“He hits her?”
She nodded.
“Jude?”
She nodded again.
“Okay. Go on.”
“At Misan’s wedding reception, you wanted to know why I was suddenly upset.”
He sat up.
“I witnessed one of such scenes.”
He was surprised. “He hit her there, at Misan’s wedding?”
She nodded. “Yes. I was renewing my makeup in the restroom when I heard their voices. Of course they didn’t know I was there. He was angry that she talked with a man at the wedding, that was why he slapped her.”
He didn’t talk.
“It happened again yesterday which was why she called me this evening.”
“Why is she still with him?” He asked calmly, his eyes thoughtful.
“That’s one of the things we have to discuss with her. She didn’t want me to tell you that day, that was why I kept quiet. However, when she called me this evening, I told her I must tell you. She needs our advice and support. I hope you’re not very angry.”
He smiled a little. “It’s not as serious as I thought. When you said you had something to discuss and you would want me to be calm and understanding, I thought it might be some bad news. This issue is simple, they’re not yet married, she should leave him. That is it.”
“She needs to be here.” Lisa said.
She got up. Tapping the door of Tofe’s room, she opened it and poked her head in. “Can you please join us?”
“Okay.”
Tofe came out and Ama followed her.
(To be continued)
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