Someone sent this:
I’ve not been happy since morning.
Another person said this:
Momma, some people are just insensitive. I stopped going to naming ceremonies in our former church because they would just be shouting ire akari tiyin na ade in the presence of everybody, and one would now be getting looks of pity from people. I’ve stopped attending naming ceremonies
My response
You’re responsible for your own joy!
By: Pastor Taiwo Iredele Odubiyi
After that, things went from bad to worse. First, Fred stopped eating at home and then he started sleeping some nights outside without giving any reason to Moni.
Moni told herself she didn’t care, the marriage was dead but somehow, she still felt hurt, hurt that she and the man she married were now like strangers to each other, hurt that the love they once had for each other was now gone and perhaps forever, hurt that he might be living with another woman on those nights he didn’t come home. Where could he be staying? Who was he staying with? Moni could not help thinking, her anger growing.
Well, there was nothing she could do about the things that had happened but there were things she could do about her life now and her future, she consoled herself. She talked to Ben, her brother-in-law, and soon, began to work in his computer company.
She also decided to do something about her weight gain. She went to a store and bought magazines that mentioned ways to lose weight. She read them through and then, wrote some of those ways of losing weight out on a sheet of paper.
She looked at what she had written – eat fruits and vegetables, eat a light breakfast, eat only when you are hungry, stop eating when you are full, find alternatives to overeating during times of stress, physical exercise.” She read all the ways – eighteen in all.
Good, she folded the paper and put it in her Bible where she was sure she could see it everyday. She would start on it immediately.
She also decided to go to the church more regularly and attend the weekly meetings. For so long, she had allowed her marriage to be her main focus rather than God…
(Excerpts from the novel – Tears on my Pillow)
This is to encourage you to rejoice in the Lord always, don’t allow yourself to be controlled by people’s behaviour, or circumstances, or your own attitude or feelings, or thoughts.
There will be challenges.
Jesus said – in the world you will have tribulations, But be of good cheer.
You will encounter challenges in marriage, at work, family, church,
But Jesus wants you to be of good cheer, remain calm, and make a good decision.
You need to know how to keep your head up high and keep moving in the right direction- Even when people fail you, when you’re betrayed or let down.
You may end up having someone live with you, such as your husband’s friend, your mother in law,
Or your wife’s friend may have to live with you or wife’s mother
Will you be unhappy, or remain a nice person?
Will you allow it to affect your marriage, life, decisions, and purpose in life?
Keep your joy!
I am amazed at the rate many link their joy or otherwise, directly or indirectly to the actions of another individual or a situation. In counseling couples, I am used to people saying ‘I am not happy because my husband has done this’ or ‘my wife hasn’t done this’. So many will complain and say their spouses are not making them happy. They feel good and happy if things are going well with their spouses. When there are issues, they are down, depressed and discouraged.
The question is this … do you think it is any one’s responsibility to make you happy?
No.
No one in life can successfully make you happy if you are not happy yourself.
Joy is your responsibility and not dependent on the actions and feelings of another.
If joy were to be a function of another’s actions, then like most works of flesh, it would come in bits and far in between, and you could be starved of joy and happiness for life. Lobatan. ?
Don’t let your joy depend on what a person does, or what you have or don’t have. Ko le werk ?
Don’t let your joy depend on who is living with you – Your husband’s friend, mother in law, sister in-law, brother in-law,.
Get up and do what you need to do.
If we learn this truth now, it will help us wherever we find ourselves, and in future.
The truth is that
your joy or lack of it comes from what and how you think.
God is saying this to us to help us, so we can have joy and rest.
We are unhappy and upset because of what we think, what we allow into our hearts and dwell on.
Arrest those thoughts, biko!
Elijah said concerning the prophets of Baal – let none of them escape!
Don’t let those bad thoughts and Satan’s influences escape.
Arrest them.
Keep your joy,
Relax, God is in control.
The Bible says
Casting down imaginations and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God,and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ.
Don’t dwell on thoughts that make you unhappy.
Dwell on the word of God.
As a man thinks in his heart, so is he.
You may have issues to resolve but it doesn’t have to affect your heart, who you are, what you need to do.
Get up in the morning, and get going in the right direction, doing what you need to do.
We have issues and have an attitude because we focus on issues, not the word of God.
Ko le werk. Thats the truth
It drains you.
Thats an indication that you’re not doing something right.
If we don’t focus on God’s way, and live, it will get to a point we’re emotionally weary. And begin to react, rather than act.
Here’s another truth.
As a husband or wife, if you are not happy, it will be difficult for you to fulfill your role in the marriage or take good care of your children. You won’t do the right thing. Lack of joy affects you and your decisions.
If you’re not happy, it will get to the point where you don’t want to get up from bed in the morning. You feel emotionally weary. ???
And life will seem unfair to you.
You become a victim.
I hope we understand this message. It will greatly help
Another reason to keep your joy:
The Bible says in Isaiah 12 verse 3, that with joy you shall be able to draw out all that salvation has to offer.
An unhappy person cannot unlock some doors.
An unhappy person will not be able to draw out all that salvation has to offer.
Keeping your joy brings freedom. Freedom for you – your joy is not determined by another person,
It also brings freedom in respect of your relationship with your spouse as the person is freed from having to do the impossible by keeping you happy.
Your spouse cannot keep you happy.
Put your trust in God
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