Mentoring husbands-to-be / wives-to-be
By: Pastor Taiwo Iredele Odubiyi
Someone sent this question to me.
How can one deal with a husband who sometimes keeps to himself and asks you to understand?
Answer (Pst Taiwo Iredele Odubiyi):
I’d advise the wife to begin to pray.
A man in marriage shouldn’t keep to himself like that.
And he wants her to understand?! No. Something is not right. And the wife should not be ignorant of the devices of Satan.
I wrote this in my novel IS IT ME YOU’RE LOOKING FOR :
Tonye spoke again.“You may hear or read some things about me. Don’t believe them. If you need to know something about me … anything at all, ask me and I promise to tell you the truth. Alright?”
“Alright. And I will always tell you the truth.” Jite promised, and then added as an afterthought, “If at any time you need some space, let me know.”
“Need some space? Why would I need some space?”
“Well, I’ve been made to know that men sometimes want some space.”
He laughed. “I’m not one of such men. I love you and we’re getting married. I want you to be involved in every area of my life. Why would I need some space?”
Jite shrugged but she was happy. The men in her past told her to give them some space and made her feel that she was bothering them. It was now clear to her that they did not love her. But she had finally found the right man. Tonye. Wow!
In a Christian home, the man and his wife should be one – talk together, do things together as much as possible.
Aside praying, the wife in this situation should call him when he’s in a good mood, or before they sleep at night and talk to him about her concern.
If there’s still no change, she may need to prayerfully think of someone to confide in, who can counsel both of them
With God, there’s no cause for alarm but the wife should not ignore what is happening.
And having done all, stand, and trust God to help you. (Ephesians 6)
Another question is – has he always been like that, from before marriage?
Or did the change happen recently?
The wife should also check, to be sure she’s not doing things that upset him.
If she thinks she’s been a good wife and there’s no reason for his behaviour, she may need to get a trusted and spiritually mature person involved.
Marriage takes God.
We should just keep praying and following God’s word.
And theres anything you cant handle, involve a spiritually mature person.
Dont keep quiet. That’s Satan’s strategy.Satan will want them to hide the issue from people, until the bubble burst
And only a trusted spiritually mature godly person should be involved.
I’d also like to know – Is he on the quiet side?
Is he like that when he’s with his friends?
If not, then there’s a reason for the withdrawal. And its dangerous
God will uphold us all in Jesus nam
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