By: Pastor Taiwo Iredele Odubiyi
Ending an affair and saving your marriage is the right thing to do. It’s what God wants you to do and you shouldn’t allow yourself to be confused about it. Some marriages break up when a spouse has cheated but infidelity and divorce don’t have to go hand in hand. The marriage can be saved and should be saved.
In one of my novels MARRIAGE ON FIRE, a married man, Emeka, was having an affair with a lady in his church. He eventually realized that the affair was wrong, it was a sin against his wife and God, and he ended it. In some cases, it may not be very easy to end the affair or save the marriage but they can be done.
Here are some of the steps to ending an affair and saving your marriage as I pointed out in the novel, Marriage on Fire.
1)Be convinced that it is wrong.
You need to realize that cheating on your spouse is wrong. If you don’t think or know that it is wrong, you may not be able to successfully end it. In the Bible, Joseph could have slept with Potiphar’s wife but he chose not to do so and ran away because he was convinced that it was wrong and he would be sinning against God and his master, Potiphar.
7 And it came to pass after these things that his master’s wife cast longing eyes on Joseph, and she said, “Lie with me.” 8 But he refused and said to his master’s wife, “Look, my master does not know what is with me in the house, and he has committed all that he has to my hand. 9 There is no one greater in this house than I, nor has he kept back anything from me but you, because you are his wife. How then can I do this great wickedness, and sin against God?” 10 So it was, as she spoke to Joseph day by day, that he did not heed her, to lie with her or to be with her. 11 But it happened about this time, when Joseph went into the house to do his work, and none of the men of the house was inside, 12 that she caught him by his garment, saying, “Lie with me.” But he left his garment in her hand, and fled and ran outside. (Genesis 39:7-12 NKJV).
And in the novel, I wrote: Emeka was indeed thirsty. He stood, headed for the kitchen, and dragged out a bottle of juice from the refrigerator. Back in the living room with the bottle in his hand, his eyes went to the family photo on the wall. He sat down and stared at it. Was Onyeka or any woman worth losing this for? He asked himself.
2)End the affair immediately. Find a way to communicate your decision to end the affair, to the person without delay or excuses.
In the novel, I wrote:
At home, his phone alerted him of a WhatsApp message. He checked it and showed it to Beauty. It was from Onyeka.
Emmy, why have you not called me? Are you okay?
“What do you want to do?” Beauty asked him.
Rather than talk, he took the phone and tapped. Putting it on speaker, he said, “Hello?”
“Emmy?! Where have you been? Why did you not contact me? Is everything okay?”
“I’m okay. Er – I won’t be seeing you again.”
“What did you say?”
He repeated his words and added, “It’s over between us. I’ve decided to do what is right.”
“Emeka, no! I love you!”
“I’m sorry, I can’t see you again. I’m sorry,”
“Emeka, what happened? Why are you saying this?”
“I want my family. I will let you know when I return to Nasarawa so you can come and remove your things from my house.”
“Emeka, don’t do that, please!”
He spoke again. “I’m sorry but that’s how it has to be. I have surrendered my life to Jesus and I must please Him. The call is on speaker and my wife can hear our conversation. I -”
“Your what?! Emeka?!”
The line went off.
“What happened? Did she end the call?” Beauty asked.
“Yes.”
To be continued
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