When your adult child is in a bad relationship – 1
By: Pastor Taiwo Iredele Odubiyi
1) As a parent, you need to first determine that your adult child is actually in a bad or an ungodly relationship. This is because it is possible that the parent considers a relationship to be bad based on their own preferences and judgments whereas it is not a bad relationship and the person is good for the child.
For example, in one of my novels ‘You Found me’, Ann’s parents did not want her to marry Sam. They considered the relationship to be bad because Sam had nothing. His parents were very poor and he used to be a driver. But Sam, who was a Christian had become a graduate. He was hard-working, had potentials, and deeply loved Ann. He had good character, and Ann had become a better person because of her relationship with him. In this case, the parents considered the relationship to be bad based on their preference but it should not be so. Their concerns about Sam’s status were legitimate but they were not the important things to consider. Status should not guide the choice of a life partner because it is subject to change, and there is nothing God can’t do.
1Samuel 2:6-9 reveal: The Lord kills and makes alive; He brings down to the grave and brings up. The Lord makes poor and makes rich; He brings low and lifts up. He raises the poor from the dust And lifts the beggar from the ash heap, To set them among princes And make them inherit the throne of glory. For the pillars of the earth are the Lord’s, And He has set the world upon them. He will guard the feet of His saints, But the wicked shall be silent in darkness. For by strength no man shall prevail.
Later in the novel, Mrs. Afe told Ann, “God can make a servant sit on the throne and He can bring a king down from the throne, He has the whole world in His hands. When a man’s ways please the Lord, He will elevate and transform his life … Sam may not look like what you’re looking for now, but that doesn’t mean he’s not the real thing. Don’t bother so much about where he is now; it’s where he’s going that matters. If he’s as nice as you have told me, and he truly loves you, then everything will be alright.”
But in the novel ‘My First Love’, Tofe’s brother and parents knew she was definitely in a bad relationship because she was not happy. She cried often and lived in fear of her intended partner, Jude. They were right and Tofe eventually confessed to them, “He hits me whenever he’s very angry, and he calls me names … I don’t talk to men again because of him. To get a job has been a challenge because he will ask if I met any man. I’ve had to lie to him a number of times even though I know it is wrong to lie as a Christian but telling him the truth will get me into trouble with him.”
And in ‘Tears On My Pillow’, Moni, a Christian became involved with Fred, a man who had no time for the things of God. Against her belief and good judgment, Moni gave in to premarital sex in order to keep him. Her parents knew she was in a bad relationship, and they were right. She became pregnant.
As a parent, how can you know if your adult child is in a good or bad relationship? Here are some of the questions you need to find answers to: Is your adult child growing and becoming a better person with a better attitude because of the relationship? Is your child happy? Do they love each other? Are you certain that there is no reason why they should not get married such as faith or where one of them is already married? If your answers are ‘yes’, then it is not a bad relationship. What you need to do is to support and pray for them.
To be continued.
The novels are available in bookshops and online
??
https://m.okadabooks.com/search?term=Taiwo+Iredele+Odubiyi+
Or
Leave a Reply